hile. Let's not lament.Those of you who know me (uh, all of you) probably know that Syd the Pug has been having some lady-parts "issues" lately. For the past few months, she's been dealing with reoccurring UTIs and kidney infections. Our vet Dr. C (who loves Syd to the point of uncomfortable awkwardness; picture me sitting in the waiting room with sick puppy on my lap, frozen in place as this woman gets on all fours to be eye level with the dog - putting her super close to my lady-parts - giving wet kisses & telling Syd how much she loves her...weird.) has tried different antibiotics, pain killers and diets. There's been labs, tests and threats of surgery.
Needless to say, there have been a lot of trips to the vet's office. Each time, they want me to bring a urine sample. The first time they put in this request, I asked them if they had any thoughts on the best way to make the "collection." The veterinary assistant raised her eyebrows, riddled her face with judgment because apparently any good dog mama knows this answer innately, and said, "Just do your best." Hmmmm.
Attempt one: I dug through my complete collection of Tupperware to find a suitable pee-collecting container. Remember, the fire wiped out my entire kitchen, so it's not like I've amassed a huge selection. I basically have my "nice" sealable plastic containers (You know what I mean. Everyone has "nice" Tupperware.) and a stray, washed out sour cream container or two. Not wanting to sacrifice my prized Tupperware, I grabbed a sour cream container and leashed Syd up.
Now, as if my neighbors don't think I'm strange as it is, I'm literally walking on Syd's heels in an attempt to collect her pee. Great. As soon as I recognize the stance, I scoot down with the container for our first attempt. It quickly becomes clear that I've chosen the wrong vessel. Syd squats one millimeter from the grass; no way I squeeze a sour cream container under there. I manage to catch a splash in the cup, but mostly got dog pee all over myself.
Attempt two, a few weeks later: Ok, having learned my lesson, I grab a nice piece of Tupperware. It was definitely easier than the sour cream, but it killed me to give up the high-end container. At least her pee was sealed-in fresh. When I arrive at the vet with the container, even Dr. C stifles a laugh.
Attempt three: We're averaging a vet trip every few weeks, and it's just not sustainable to keep collecting with my personal Tupperware collection. So, on the way home from work - pre-pee - I stop at Walmart and head straight to the Tupperware aisle. It hits me, as I'm carefully eyeing each option, that when normal people go plastic-container shopping, they're thinking about their brown bag lunch habits or leftover storage needs. The normal uses for said containers. I'm scanning the shelves for the most shallow container available so I can most effectively collect dog pee. This is my life.
I settle on a Ziploc four-pack of snack size containers and head home. I lower the container - SUCCESS! The best $3 I ever spent! (What's $3, when our June vet bills were $500+)
Update: Syd ended a two-week round of antibiotics & started a new prescription diet for a high PH balance & crystals in the pee. She seems to be doing well so far...fingers crossed. If you're thinking of cleaning out the cupboards and looking to unload shallow plastic containers, you know who to call.
