Get on the Bus

On this lovely Valentine's Day, I should be posting some romantic mishap or V-Day blunder. But, alas, I actually don't have many. I've had a lifetime of uneventful Valentine's Days, for better or worse. The best was a dinner (Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy's), and a movie (The Wedding Singer). I'm not being facetious - it really was the best one. The worst was a babysitting event gone awry, with the most foul-smelling throw-up. Ever. But I don't think I have the stomach for it.

So, sorry Cupid. I'm posting in a different direction today. When I was in the sixth grade, my friend Katie and I convinced our mothers that we were old enough & responsible enough to take the shuttle from the North Shore Mall (where we had been dropped off) to the Liberty Tree Mall (where we were to be picked up). For those of you unlucky enough not to be born-and-bred North Shorers, the two malls are five minutes apart. And back in the day, the shuttle was a bright-purple colored, small bus that said "Mall Shuttle" right on it. We had never actually seen it, but, hey, how difficult could it be?

So, after we were done at Mall #1 (Don't ask WHY we needed two malls in one day), we went outside and waited near the bus stop, right outside Johnny Rockets. It pulled up, we dropped change in the change-spot and found two seats. We were thrilled. Oh, the independence! Our enthusiasm soon faded, as we started heading in the opposite direction from where we were supposed to go. Panicked, we watched as the bus drove through Peabody, Salem...and into Lynn. Now, as a proud Lynnite, I have nothing against the city. But we were headed into the part of Lynn everyone knows about, but we had never seen.

The bus pulled up downtown, and everyone got off, so we followed suit. We stood there, terrified. And every shady character around could smell it on us. "What do we do?" said Katie. "I have no idea, but we've got to get out of here. We'll have to take the next bus," I said. "But how do we know which one to take?" Hmmm. Good question. I looked around and saw dirty, toothless men all around us. Most of them smelled like cheap Whiskey and piss, to be honest. Across the street stood two women. Now, EVEN THEN, I recognized them to be working women. But, tough times call for...hookers, I guess.

I told Katie to wait there, and I crossed the street, my heart beating out of my chest. "Excuse me? I need to take a bus back to the North Shore Mall. Do you know when it will be here?" She laughed. She literally laughed in my face. But then, bosoms busting out, leaned down and pulled a bus schedule out of her purse. Who would have guessed? But, then again - anyone who chooses the world's oldest profession must need to be practical on some level. I thanked her and headed back to wait for Bus 501. It came a few minutes later, we got on, and didn't breathe until we pulled into the mall parking lot. Just as we got off the bus, the real shuttle pulled up, so we hopped on. I don't think we talked to each other the whole rest of the day - we were so shook up.