Big Boobs/Heavy Hair

I'm convinced that every family - everywhere & without fail - falls on the "crazy" spectrum in one way or another. Probably no surprise to my loyal Bloggity Blog readers (all "handful" of you), my family's needle points pretty high on the crazy meter (I'm a product of my environment, after all.) Before all you aunties & uncles out there get angry, wait for it...I wouldn't want it any other way. Don't get me wrong; there are moments when I want to throttle someone in my direct blood line, but for the most part I love the loud, chaotic, stubborn, funny, creative crew that is my family.

Let's rewind the tape to yesterday's Easter dinner at my Aunt Elaine's house. Sitting between my two sisters at the kids' table (yes, that's right), I was in perfect earshot of the big table (not an easy fete with my bad ear). At the grown-up table sat my parents, Paula & Walter, my Aunt Elaine & Uncle Brian, his parents, Joe & Lil, and his brother, Mark, who brought his own salt shaker. Don't ask. At one point during the meal (which could be its own Blog post, by the way - SOOOO good, words can't describe. Aunt Elaine is a culinary goddess. And props to Paula's potatoes.), Lil looked over at the three Guptill girls, and commented on my sister Lindsey's long hair. Hope you can follow this; I think its best to really tell is as it happened:

Lil (to no one in particular): Oh, my. Look at how long her hair is! Does she get headaches?

[Julie exchanges a look of bewilderment with sister Jen.]

Paula: Um, Linds sometimes gets headaches, I guess.

Lil: Yes, well they say long hair is so heavy. Isn't it heavy, dear?

[Linds mumbles "No," avoids eye contact]

Lil: Well, when I was in school there was a girl who had such long hair that one day she whipped it around when she was standing at the top of the staircase, and it was heavy, she toppled right over and fell down the stairs.

[Julie can't stifle her laughter at this ridiculous claim.]

Paula: It's kinda like when they say people with big boobs have lower back problems.

Jen & Julie together, in sync: WHAT?

Julie: How is that a proper analogy?

[Room bursts out in laughter; No one really understands the conversation that just happened.]

We rounded out the meal like this:

Paula: What's [Tim's girlfriend] Tara doing today?

Brian: She's celebrating Greek Easter...

Lil: PIZZA?? For Easter???

Brian: No, Ma. G-R-E-E-K E-A-S-T-E-R.

Lil: Oh. Pass the cantaloupe, please.